| venting |
[Jul. 24th, 2008|08:14 pm] |
Hey, i know no one reads this so this is actually perfect for me. I get through things by venting about them to nearly every single person that will listen. So, why not put it out there for the whole internet?
So i've had my toshiba laptop that my father gave me and it's worked fine. it's not the best thing in the world but it has fast internet, and stores all my documents for school so that's awesome. But i wanted something newer because the toshiba is at least 6 years old. So i order this awesome laptop thru dell.com and it has all i need for school plus more to store all my music (which is a lot) and it even has a purple cover! that was the best part. I even paid for it myself--a steal at just $750! my mom was proud of me for working my butt off and earning that money by myself and so was i. I was so excited to get my new computer not 2 days ago. so i open it up and sign on and do all that fun stuff only to remember that windows xp is no longer available because i bought it after june 30. BULL. SHIT. Vista is the worst operating system on the face of the planet. i swear to God if i gave the damn thing a command to self destruct or give birth to a new species of humans or cure cancer it would ask "are you sure you want to do this?" and it's slower than melting ice in an ice age. that doesnt even make sense but that shows you how frickin slow this thing is. I try to connect to the internet and download firefox, which would have taken 20+ minutes alone. I try to download itunes--HA! it was gonna take 5+ HOURS to download! fuck that. so i aborted both downloads. i'm going to call dell this weekend and say if they cant fix it i am sending the damn thing back for a full refund. this is ridiculous. new computers are supposed to be better faster safer and all around awesome. not this. i feel like i'm using a computer from the 90's. idk. i just feel like whenever i am excited and i work hard for something and i am really looking forward to it all i get it disapointment. those stupid door tags im making for my residents next semester are coming out all wrong, even though i was so enthusiastic and got a head start and everything. they're a great idea, but they look like shit and why is that? because i was excited and happy to do it. i don't even care about my inheritance money anymore. i know all of its going to be gone after i pay for stuff like a car and a tv and stuff---if i even am lucky enough to get those things. we keep putting it off or pushing it back and i know i should be grateful to even have a car, let alone the prospect of a new one, but this is just ridiculous. my car cannot--canNOT--make it the 2 1/2 hour mass pike trip from the south shore to springfield MA. ugh. i dont know what to do. |
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| Writer's Block: Hell Hath No Fury |
[May. 15th, 2008|10:50 pm] |
The last person to make me truly "i feel extremely angry at you specifically" mad was my boyfriend. My father recently past away,and he and i did not have the best relationship (i hadn't said a word to the man in 9 months or so). So i'm on AIM simply to talk to people because that's what i do in situations like this, i talk it out. So i tell him that we had the funeral today and i had trouble keeping my emotions in check and how only one of my friends showed up (which i was expecting but it still kinda upset me, you know?) and all he has to say in reply is not "that sucks" or "wow sorry" or even just "aw", no none of that, but he types back "cleaning my room--lost my wallet. damn hate it when that happens ya no?". i was FURIOUS. he's my boyfriend! he's supposed to be there for me! i know he's a state away and that he was distracted but it's simple courtesy to NOT be an asshole to someone who just buried their father. I dunno, he's definitely on his way out. Too bad too, he could actually make me happy in bed and he was sweet (when he remembered that he has a girlfriend). I got the notion that if i didn't go to his room and walk to dinner with him, he would go without me every single time. and when there are people hanging out he doesn't think to tell me to join or anything. i can understand that SOMEtimes, but every time? that's just stupid. |
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| Sorry, I just...don't...drink. at all. |
[Apr. 18th, 2008|11:07 pm] |
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So yeah, im a freshman in college and it's 11 on a friday night. I should be out having fun with friends, right? Right, but unfortunately, most of my friends drink. Not to the point of getting completely inebriated, but they the majority of them get pretty damn buzzed. Thankfully my boyfriend only likes beer, not hard liquor, and he's a very careful drinker, which is good. I just feel so alone sometimes because i don't drink. I hate the whole scene, the whole idea, the whole atmosphere. It's not just that i don't like the drinking, i don't like being around people who are drinking. Even if i or other people in the room are not drinking a drop of alcohol, i still will not go to the room, i'll go back to my own room and rant on livejournal apparently. I've been feeling alone a lot lately and that's probably because my boyfriend is really into video games and one thing i absolutely hate doing is watching OTHER people play games. It's so boring! I mean, my last boyfriend and i didn't do that much together, we mostly sat around and watched tv or did just nothing, but it was ok, because he was paying attention to ME not a stupid computer screen. My last boyfriend also didn't drink at all so we just hung out until i pretty much got sick of him, poor thing, i felt bad but that's just the way my life works. A great friend comes into my life, with a few faulty personality traits, and i see the person way too much (i call these types of people "low-dose" people) and i get tired of them. It's starting to happen with pretty much all of my friends. I don't know. They are all so funny and nice and fun to be with, but when the weekend rolls around all they can talk about is 1. Battlestar (yaaaay...NOT) and 2. drinking! I'm SO sick of this shit! I am so happy i only have 3 more weeks of school and then i can go home and be bored but at least i'll be able to go out for a drive and listen to music and cruise a bit. Here i don't know the area that well, plus it's not that safe. So yeah, i suppose i could go to bed, but where is the good in that when i have insomnia. Even those damn herbal supplements aren't doing a damn thing. I go to bed around, say, 10:30 or 11. My roommate stays up until 1 or later. So that is 3 hours i'm in bed not being able to sleep. When she FINALLY turns the damn light off (not necessarily meaning she's going to bed---she uses the computer in the dark) i still have at least another 1 or 2 hours of restlessness ahead of me. Then i wake up sporadically through the night AND i usually wake up before or around dawn, so 6:30-7. Honestly, no exaggeration, the only way i know that i have slept at all on any given night is because i can remember the dream(s) i've had. If i didn't dream or couldn't remember them, i'd have to assume i just didn't sleep that night. Nothing has worked, i tried exercising, these herbal thingies, not having caffeine or sugar a certain period of time before bed. I just.cant.sleep. And it's driving me crazy. Just like everything else in this world. |
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| New England Patriots |
[Mar. 28th, 2008|04:25 pm] |
So i didn't have any time when i last posted to talk about my true passion: football. American football is the most amazing thing ever in my mind. It truly is a passion and a lifestyle. My year revolves around the pre season, regular season, post season, and off season. I live in MA so my team is the New England Patriots. Yes, yes, yes i know how the season ended, please do NOT rub it in my face. I had to force myself to stay away from ESPN and the papers for a whole week. I don't know, i guess the world just isn't ready for another perfect season. just wait though, we may not be perfect yet, but Brady's only 30 and in god health, so he's got plenty more years! I've been watching football since around the middle of the 2000-2001 season, when the Patriots won the first Superbowl (XXXVI) that would begin their Dynasty (XXXVI, XXXVIII, XXXIX). I've seen great players come and go, seen the announcement that Andre Tippet will be inducted into the Hall of Fame, and i know i have so many more experiences to go. I realize that i have only been watching for a mere 7 years, but i believe that it doesn't matter how long you are involved with something, it depends on the effort you put into it. I watch every Patriots game unless there is something extremely important, i watch as many other games as a i can: replays, college, Europa, exhibition, and vintage. It's the only game where anything can happen. Literally, anything. One minute, second even, one team could be dominating on all levels, and the very next play, it could all change. Or it could go back and forth. Interceptions, fumbles, touchdowns, field goals, conversions, uhh! i get giddy just thinking about all the different ways a team can score or lose. Well, that's just a short rant on the amazingness of American Football, i shall elaborate much more later on :-) |
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| I'm new here |
[Mar. 27th, 2008|01:40 pm] |
Hello, i'm really only on livejournal to read what others have posted, but it keeps bugging me "you haven't posted anything yet! *gasp*" so here is a post:
My name is Martha, im 18, single (finally--that last one went on way too long), and i live in Massachusetts. My favorites are:
Music: pretty much anything, literally, i like most kinds of music. Right now im on a binge of Fueled By Ramen (panic, FOB, MCR, Cobra, The Academy Is... etc etc)
Movies: anything with Johnny Depp or Robin Williams
Books: Harry Potter, Anything by Stephen King, Anne Rice, or Terry Pratchett (Discworld anyone?)
Hobbies: reading, art (any kind, drawing, painting, sculpting, any kind of medium), listening to music, singing in chorus(es), acting, dancing, im pretty much a fine arts geek
Major in college: Accounting (yaaaaaay....NOT)
Other things: I am Secretary of Chorus at my college. Basically i take notes during meetings and attendance at rehearsals. It a ton of fun, the people are great and it looks damn good on a resume
I applied to be a Resident Advisor, which means i am the person on the floor that keeps quiet hours, writes people up for being disruptive or drinking, etc. Plus the perks are AWESOME: your own room and free (FREE!!!!!!!!) room&board coverage. But alas, i am an alternate at this point, so i will know in the future
I'm insane. I know that's probably not an uncommon thing to hear on livejournal, but i am! It's so much fun. My friends are great, i have a great family (minus my father) and i generally am having a good time with life right now.
:-) |
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